Fwd: A Few Thoughts on Cat Baths... By The Cats

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: MOM
Date: Wed, Nov 12, 2008 at 10:41 AM
Subject: A Few Thoughts on Cat Baths... By The Cats
To: undisclosed-recipients


A few thoughts on cat baths... By The Cats:
'No, no, no, no..... NOOOOOO!

'I want my Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!'

'Traction.... I'm losing Traction!'

'No, I'm not your Good Little Kitty anymore.'

'E.T. Phone home...... Quick!'

'You SUCK!'

'I don't think I like you anymore.'

'Jeeez, you call this water warm?'

'You will pay, as God is my witness, you will pay.'

'But You Said You Loved Me!'

FW: DO NOT SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: MOM
Date: Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 12:08 AM
Subject: Re:
To: KID


DO NOT SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM

or else, see what happens:

Fwd: [Fwd: Political Put Downs]

Begin forwarded message:



Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party when he bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist Member of Parliament.

"Mr. Churchill, you are drunk," Braddock said harshly.

Churchill paused and said, "And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly. I'll be sober in the morning."

* * *

Henry Clay was sitting outside a Washington hotel with Massachusetts Senator Daniel Webster.

They watched a man walk by with a pack of mules and Webster remarked, "Clay, there goes a number of your Kentucky constituents."

"Yes," Clay replied, "they must be on their way to Massachusetts to teach school."

* * *

John Wilkes, an eighteenth-century political reformer, was involved in a particularly angry exchange with John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. "Sir," Montagu exclaimed, "I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!"

To which Wilkes responded, "That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles or your Lordship's mistresses."

* * *

During a television debate against incumbent U.S. Senator Fritz Hollings in 1986, Republican candidate Henry McMaster challenged his opponent to take a drug test.

"I'll take a drug test," Hollings responded, "if you'll take an IQ test."

* * *

In the fifth century B.C., Alcibiades debated his uncle, the Greek orator Pericles.

"When I was your age, Alcibiades, I talked just the way you are now talking," Pericles said.

"If only I had known you, Pericles," Alcibiades replied, "when you were at your best."

* * *

At the Versailles Peace Conference in 1919, Georges Clemenceau held out for the harshest terms against Germany. Someone pointed out that historians would be arguing for generations over who was responsible for starting the Great War.

"Yes," Clemenceau said, "but one thing is certain: They will not say that Belgium invaded Germany."

* * *

During one of the Lincoln-Douglas debates, U.S. Senator Stephen Douglas called Abraham Lincoln "two-faced."

To which Lincoln replied, "I leave it to my audience. If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?"

* * *

Just after the 1992 Republication National Convention, Vice President Dan Quayle revealed that he planned to be "a pit bull" in the upcoming campaign against the Democratic presidential candidate Bill Clinton and his running mate Al Gore.

When Clinton was asked for his reaction, he replied: "That's got every fire hydrant in America worried."

* * *

When the Reverend Edward Everett Hale was chaplain of the U.S. Senate, he was asked if he prayed for the Senators.

"No," he said. "I look at the Senators and pray for the country."

* * *

Once when television reporter Andrew Kirtzman was interviewing New York Mayor Ed Koch, the reporter pressed the mayor on an inconsistency.

Finally, Koch, a bit frustrated, leaned closer to the reporter and said, "I can explain this to you; I can't comprehend it for you."

* * *

A foreign diplomat walked into Abraham Lincoln's office while the president was polishing his shoes.

"Mr. President!" the startled diplomat said with disdain, "you black your own boots?"

"Yes," Lincoln said, "whose boots do you black?"

* * *

Playwright George Bernard Shaw invited Winston Churchill to the first night of his newest play, enclosing two tickets: "One for yourself and one for a friend – if you have one."

Churchill wrote back, saying he couldn't make it, but could he have tickets for the second night – "if there is one."

* * *

U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Melville W. Fuller was presiding at a church conference when an audience member rose and began a tirade against universities and education, saying that he gave thanks to God that he had never been corrupted by any contact with a college.

"Do I understand the speaker thanks God for his ignorance?" Fuller interrupted.

"Well, yes, if you want to put it that way," the man answered.

"Then," Fuller replied, "you have a great deal to be thankful for."

* * *

The conservative Winston Churchill was often at odds with Clement Attlee, leader of the Labor Party, which advocated a greater role for government in economic policy. Churchill once entered a men's room to find Attlee standing at the urinal. Churchill took a position at the other end of the trough.

"Feeling standoffish today, are we, Winston?" Attlee asked.

"That's right," Churchill responded. "Every time you see something big, you want to nationalize it."

*Excerpted from /I'll Be Sober in the Morning: Great Political Comebacks, Putdowns and Ripostes/, edited by Chris Lamb.*

Fw: Does This Pumpkin Make My Butt Look Big?

----- Original Message -----

From: MOM

To: KID

Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 2:37 PM

Subject: Fw: Does This Pumpkin Make My Butt Look Big?

Happy Halloween!! You've been Mooned!!

One rule to this game.... You can NOT get someone who has already gotten you!

Now... go out there and get as many people as you can, before they get you! I got you first! and you can't get me back!

from grandma

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Grandma
Date: Tue, Oct 21, 2008 at 11:54 AM
Subject: (no subject)
To: recipients




Happy Trails to You Until We Meet Again!

Hi there, I thought that you would like to hear this from me and not from someone else. I know what you are probably thinking. This is supposed to be a secret, but the truth will eventually come out.....
Anyway guess who is due in 2 months SCROLL DOWN........

Santa Claus

Gotcha!!!

You know it intrigued you enough to scroll down!!!

FW: RE: RE: You are 1 of my 11

From: MOM

Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2007 7:51 AM
To: KIDS
Subject: RE: You are 1 of my 11

I don't normally do this but the prayer is beautiful.

---

From: MOM'S FRIEND
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2007 7:33 AM
To: MOM
Subject: Fwd: You are 1 of my 11

Subject: Fw: You are 1 of my 11

Subject: You are 1 of my 11
Look at the picture read the prayer and then make a wish and read the prayer again.

---

Hi - I am picking 11 people who have touched my life and who I think
would want to receive this. Please send it back to me (You'll see why).

In case you are not aware, Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love.
She is represented by roses. May everyone who receives this message be blessed.
Theresa's Prayer cannot be deleted.
REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the prayer. That's all you have to do.
There is nothing attached. Just share this with people and see what happens on the fourth day.
Sorry you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please.
Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. Read the prayer below.



Saint Theresa' s Prayer


May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where y ou are meant to be
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Now, send this to 11 people within the next 5 minutes. And remember to send this back. I count as 1...you'll see why.

Fw: Mental Floss

From: MOM
Subject: Mental Floss
To: KID
Date: Sunday, October 12, 2008, 11:59 AM

A forward

MOM

Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.
More than likely you said, 'A bird in the bush,'! and. .......
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.

Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?

In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). Now, what do you see?

You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?

What do you see here?

This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.

Last one.
What do you see?


You probably read the word ME in brown, but.......
when you look through ME you will see YOU!

Do you need to look again? Test Your Brain
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.



ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

Count every ' F ' in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process 'OF'.


Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.


Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!




look at the spinning woman and if she is turning right your right side of your brain is working . If she is turning left your left side of your brain is working If she turns both ways for you then you have a 160 or better IQ