Tuesday, September 30, 2008
GONNA HAVE TO SCROLL DOWN...
THIS IS COOL!
Now, THIS is really fascinating - it's rather dazzling to see
I CERTAINLY THOUGHT THIS WAS ENLIGHTENING. BEYOND OUR SUN ... IT'S A BIG UNIVERSE.
ANTARES IS THE 15TH BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY.
IT IS MORE THAN 1000 LIGHT YEARS AWAY.
NOW TRY TO WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THIS.........
THIS IS A HUBBLE TELESCOPE ULTRA DEEP FIELD INFRARED VIEW OF COUNTLESS
'ENTIRE' GALAXIES BILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY.
BELOW IS A CLOSE UP OF ONE OF THE DARKEST REGIONS OF THE PHOTO ABOVE.
HUMBLING, ISN'T IT?
And yet, Someone knows how many hairs are on your head,
and not even a single sparrow dies apart from his will (Mt 10:29-31)!
NOW HOW BIG ARE YOU?
AND HOW BIG ARE THE THINGS THAT UPSET YOU TODAY?
KEEP LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE.
AND DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!
IT'S ALL UNDER CONTROL (Job 38)
HOPE YOU CAN FIND TIME TO FORWARD THIS TO A FRIEND.....................
'Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth!'
'Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great
God and our Savior Jesus Christ;' ~Titus 2:13
Monday, September 29, 2008
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:12:45 -0400
Subject: In charge - colonoscopy awareness
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,trying to decide who was the one in charge.
'I should be in charge,' said the brain, 'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen.'
'I should be in charge,' said the blood ,
'because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away .'
'I should be in charge,' said the stomach ,
'because I process food and give all of you energy.'
'I should be in charge,' said the legs,
'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.'
'I should be in charge,' said the eyes,
'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.'
I should be in charge,' said the rectum,
'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.'
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The ass hole is usually the one in charge!
If you don't send this to at least three people....who gives a shit?
Friday, September 26, 2008
From: MOMDate: September 17, 2008 7:46:28 AM PDTTo: KIDS
It gets funnier as it goes on! "Sorry" (not very though) to the 2 of you that aren't yet 30...:)
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!! !
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
When they were growing up; what with walking
Twenty-five miles to school every morning ... Uphill BOTH ways
Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
There was no way in hell I was going to lay
a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
And how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of
Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you
Don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The
If we wanted to know something,
We had to go to the damn library and
Look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
Somebody a letter.
with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
Put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to
Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and
Shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ'd usually talk over the
Beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal,
And we didn't have fancy Caller, ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your Mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug
a collections agent, you just didn't know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
High-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600 !
Wit h games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'.
Your guy was a
You actually had to use your imagination! !
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen
And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster
Until you died!
Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
All the seats were the same height!
If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and
You couldn't see,
You were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that
Was only like 15 channels
And there was no on screen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the
Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get
Cartoons on Saturday Morning.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
Something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ..
If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
And shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 !
The over 30 Crowd
Send this to someone you'd like to make smile, whether they are
Under 30 or not.
Date: Tue, Sep 23, 2008 at 5:04 PM
Subject: Fwd: One Day
Thursday, September 25, 2008
From: MOMDate: June 12, 2008 11:30:39 AM PDTTo: KIDSSubject: FW: Advice from Bill Gates
This should be posted in all schools .
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English -Thank a soldier
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Subject: Interesting Facts
Date: Tuesday, September 23, 2008, 8:12 AM
is the longest word typed with only the left hand
And "lollipop"is the longest word typed with your right hand.
(Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
No word in the English language rhymes with
month, orange, silver, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
(Are you doubting this?)
Our eyesare always the same sizefrom birth, but our noseand earsnever stop growing.
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
uses every letter of the alphabet.
(Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read
left to right or right to left (palindromes).
(Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
(You're not doubting this, are you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."(Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER s the longest word
that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
(All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
(Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A sharkis the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
(I know some people that could do this too.!)
Almonds are a member of the peachfamily.
An ostrich's eyeis bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also)
Babies are born without kneecaps.
They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
Peanutsare one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bandslast longer when refrigerated.
The cruise liner, QE 2
moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwavewas invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he did that.)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls
froze completely solid.
There are more chickensthan people in the world.
Winston Churchillwas born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blinknearly twice as much as men.
Now you know more than you did before!!